I know I haven't written in a while. Sorry, I have been really busy. Studying for midterms and shit. Well my weekend has been really good. I haven't cut in a while but my saw my other scars and is still threatning to take me to threapy which won't do much cuase I would have to talk to get help and I like I have said before I don't want to share my problems with strangers or anyone except my friend who knows what I am going through but she is to buys with her new boy toy right now so i guess its just me to face it by myself and leets face it thats how its always been. I just cutt like five seconds ago and my best friend doesn't know. Its not that deep tho sso its really nothing just enough to burn which is good sometimes. Well I don't want help and i dont need it. But thanks right now i just want to be alone which is hard when your best friend who always knows whats wrong is right besides you asking you if your mad at her when you are but you arent but you can't say anything. Ughhh Fuck it.
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My new years was good and i haven't cut in like a week. my best friend thinks i really need help but i dont. Im just glad its a new year. I have to go back to school the 5th and i really don't want to go back its stressful and i can't remember if we had any homework. I am going on a diet i want to lose like 10 pounds then another 10. Yeah its gonna be really hard but i have a pretty good plan i think. I have also been going to the gym more so thats good and i have a tread mill in my beasement. I had a really good christmas and got a new laptop so that was pretty good also. I dont think i need help so thats good i have it undercontrol.
Christmas is in two days. Wow, im so excited. Well anyway i am offically over dylan which is good. I like two guys, one i actually have a chance with and the other one is just like a dream. I cut agian it was once but i was so pissed off that it seemed like a good idea but then agian everytime i do it seems like a good idea. It is Fu i was to lazy to finish with the ck. but i look at it as and F you. If that makes anysense. Well my friend saw it last night she just asked me when i did it she didnt flip out or threaten to tell my mom which is a really good thing. I can't wait to see my dad on christmas i haven't seen him in a while due to having a life. Well Christmas should be fun, my step sister is coming up and my grandparents are coming over.
